GOP Creates Massive Straw Shortage

Mitch McConnel denies evolution and that he is evolved from a Galapagos turtle

Mitch McConnell denies Obamacare enrollments are real and that he is evolved from a Galapagos turtle.

WASHINGTON – (Nedelman Report)  GOP critics of Obamacare vehemently denied that their grasping at straws to explain away the success of the final Obamacare sign-up numbers – 7.1  million on the Federal exchange and an additional 2.5 million on state sponsored exchanges – has created a nationwide straw shortage.

Peggy Noonan of the Wall Street Journal this morning grasped this histrionic straw:

“But six million people lost their coverage and were forced onto the exchanges!“

John Boehner borrowed 9.6 million straws from objective reality challenged columnist, Charles Krauthammer, and declared that most of the 9.6 million sign-ups never paid their premiums. They used a number of additional straws explaining how their clairvoyance gave them access to this information which no one else in the country has confirmed.

Tea Party darling Rand Paul admitted signing up his pet Rottweiler for Obamacare under an assumed name,  Redwhite N. Blue, stating he was a straw dog like many right wing Republican pet issues and deserved the same serious consideration as the rest of them.

All Republicans have grasped straws about the public not understanding Obamacare, with Senator Mitch McConnell echoing this complaint:

After all the lies we Republicans told about Obamacare since the law was passed, there’s no way in hell over nine million people chose to sign up for it. What is it they think they know that we Republicans don’t know…. other than them needing affordable medical coverage?

Senator McConnell added that he also denies evolution and further, that he is evolved from a Galapagos turtle.

Republican Eric Cantor grabbed this straw:

Needing health insurance is not a valid reason to sign up for Obamacare health insurance. They couldn’t have known what they were doing.

There is one straw Republicans refuse to grab:  9.6 million citizens proactively made a serious effort and a choice to enroll for medical insurance with Obamacare.


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flipping the bird

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widemodern_goodlatte_061813620x413

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Pope Benedict XVI
Photo: Courtesy www.metro.co.uk

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Preibus - RNC

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Karl Rove explain why Romney won Ohio

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Mitt Romney
Photo credit: Charles Dharapak / AP (cropped)

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