Archives for November 2012

Romney Dines with 47% at White House

WASHINGTON  (The Nedelman Report)   In an unprecedented display of goodwill, Mitt Romney had lunch with one of the 47% of Americans he said were the takers, moochers, and parasites in our society. Upon arriving at the White House, Mitt Romney requested that President Obama confirm in writing that he would not be charged for his […]

3,442,567 Reasons Romney Lost the Election

WASHINGTON DC  (The Nedelman Report) The Center for Republican Apologist Propaganda has completed its in depth their analysis of why Mitt Romney so decisively lost the election. It found 3,442,567 reasons, the number of votes President Obama beat Mitt Romney by in the general election. The main spokesperson for CRAP, Charley Kraphammer, issued the following […]

Romney Loses, Moves Money Offshore

BOSTON (The Nedelman Report) — Mitt Romney, decisively losing the presidency, gave his moral a boost by moving the rest of his money and holdings offshore into secret, non-taxable bank accounts in Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, and Lichtenstein. Romney offered the following reasons for moving his U.S. holdings to secret foreign depositories: “Some people […]

Romney Vows to Hold Breath If He Loses

TOLEDO, Ohio (The Nedelman Report) – At a campaign stop in Toledo, Ohio this morning, Mitt Romney responded to jeers from the crowd by threatening to hold his breath if they did not vote for him. Romney threw out his oft repeated and confirmed lie that Jeep was moving its auto production out of Ohio […]

Amazing Red State Polling Analysis

WASHINGTON  (The Nedelman Report)  — Karl Rove’s well-known Washington political action committee, American Crossroads (AC), completed an analysis of all of the recent polling data in a joint venture with Truthful Evangelical Americans (TEA), a little known contrarian evangelical Christian splinter group known for their adherence to objective reality. Although desperately searching for a path […]

Blue States Secede from the United States

NEWPORT BEACH, California   (The Nedelman Report) — Many wealthy Republican residents of Newport Beach are in a quandary about what to do after California announced this morning that it was seceding from the United States of America effective at midnight, November 5th. Regardless of who wins the presidency, California will not be in the Union, […]

ROMNEY SHARK ATTACK!

The real reason why Romney loves to fire people – MONEY! Social Bookmarking

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