SORRY, EU, WE FOULED OUR NEST WITH TRUMP

Sorry, EU, We Fouled Our Nest with Trump NEWPORT BEACH — (The Nedelman Report) As an American, I wish to send a note of apology to our European friends for fouling our nest with Donald Trump. Gorillas are known to defecate in their nests, too, and America, if nothing else, is a 500-pound gorilla on […]

Trump’s VP Choices – Damaged Goods, But Serviceable?

At the beginning of the GOP primary season, no one seriously believed that a blow-hard billionaire who looks like he grows genetically modified corn silk on his head would be picking a Vice-Presidential nominee. Only my schizophrenic astrologer told me this was going to happen, so eat your heart out, David Brooks and Charles Krauthammer […]

RUBIO SO CROOKED HE HAS TO SCREW HIS SHOES ON

NEWPORT BEACH (The Nedelman Report) — Marco Rubio has won The Nedelman Report’s annual “Screw-Shoes Award” for the most financially irresponsible politician seeking high public office in 2016. The editorial board issued the following statement explaining why Marco Rubio deserves the annual Screw-Shoe Award: “Marco Rubio won the 2016 Screw-Shoe Award because, like previous winners, […]

GOP Creates Massive Straw Shortage

WASHINGTON – (Nedelman Report)  GOP critics of Obamacare vehemently denied that their grasping at straws to explain away the success of the final Obamacare sign-up numbers has created a nationwide straw shortage – 7.1  million sign-ups on the Federal exchange and an additional 2.5 million on state sponsored exchanges . Peggy Noonan of the Wall […]

The Stinkin’ GOP Treasure of Sierra Tawdry

BOSTON (Nedelman Report) –Chairman of the Republican National Convention, Reince Priebus, declared that the RNC decided to severely punish NBC News and CNN for daring to make and release movie biographies in 2015 about Hillary Clinton, a potential 2016 Democratic Presidential challenger. It makes no difference to the RNC that NBC Entertainment, not NBC News […]

Romney Loses, Moves Money Offshore

BOSTON (The Nedelman Report) — Mitt Romney, decisively losing the presidency, gave his moral a boost by moving the rest of his money and holdings offshore into secret, non-taxable bank accounts in Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, and Lichtenstein. Romney offered the following reasons for moving his U.S. holdings to secret foreign depositories: “Some people […]

Romney Vows to Hold Breath If He Loses

TOLEDO, Ohio (The Nedelman Report) – At a campaign stop in Toledo, Ohio this morning, Mitt Romney responded to jeers from the crowd by threatening to hold his breath if they did not vote for him. Romney threw out his oft repeated and confirmed lie that Jeep was moving its auto production out of Ohio […]

ROMNEY SHARK ATTACK!

The real reason why Romney loves to fire people – MONEY! Social Bookmarking

Romney: Hurricane Sandy is a Failure of Obama Leadership

ATLANTIC CITY (Nedelman Report) — In a campaign stop in Atlantic City, New Jersey, Mitt Romney criticized President Obama for his failure of leadership for allowing hurricane Sandy to reach North America. While lashing out at President Obama, Romney also lashed himself to a telephone pole in the 145 mile an hour winds and delivered […]

Romney’s Two Job Creation Successes

Mitt Romney hammers voters with his story that while CEO’ing Bain Capital, he helped create thousands of jobs by providing financing and venture capital. The sad truth is, if you asked Mitt Romney for a tissue, he would later proclaim that not only did he help you blow your nose, but also that he put […]

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