Palin Challenges Obama to a “Duel of Wits” Debate… with an Unloaded Weapon

Sarah Palin winks to the audience, emphasizing a serious point

The ever frisky Sarah Palin took issue with her images and words appearing  in an election ad for Obama, which effectively asks, “Are You Tired of Far Right Loonies, Tea Partiers, and Whack-Jobs?”

Later, continuing in her unremitting battle with sadomasochism, Palin challenged President Obama to a one-on-one duel of wits in a debate.

A straw poll conducted by Shifferbrains.com asked readers the following question:

Would it be fair of President Obama to have a “duel of wits” debate with Sarah Palin, if she’s using an unloaded weapon?

“Sarah Palin attacks President Obama and the English language with incomplete, incoherent sentences”
Our readers were asked to choose only one of the following answers:

  1. Yes, debate. Sarah Palin deserves the chance to prove to America she really can’t be as invincibly ignorant and moronic as she is portrayed in the movie, “Game Change.”
  2. Yes, debate. Sarah Palin deserves one last chance to prove to America she really can’t be as indelibly ignorant and moronic as she sounds.
  3. Yes, debate. Sarah Palin deserves the chance to prove to America she really can’t be as whup-ass ignorant and moronic as to believe in creationism and that the 13.7 billion year old universe, including every fucking dinosaur that ever roamed earth 100,000,000 years ago, is 6,000 years old. (As a side note, the International Biogenics Laboratory in Bern, Switzerland unequivocally states that not even God could intelligently design a decent fart in only 6,000 years)
  4. No debate.  That shifferbrains hockey-mom has taken up way too much of eveyone’s time as it is.

Shifferbrains.com polled 4,000,000 readers with an accuracy of +- .000001%. The final results for the poll questions are:

Answer 1. 3,999,999

Answer 2. 3,999,999

Answer 3. 3,999,999

Answer 4. 3,999,999

The poll clearly demonstrates that readers were torn between the four questions and could not hold themselves to voting only for one.

Only Herman Cain refused to make a choice, but responded by calling Shifferbrains.com after hours and repeatedly shouting the message, “9-9-9,” until filling up the answering machine’s ten terabit memory. Sarah Palin responded, “I liked Herman’s message. It’s too bad the shifferbrains stepped on his dick 189 times propositioning female employees for sex before running for President. ”

President Obama responded to the Palin challenge by chortling, “I’ll let Palin debate my dog, Bo, and I’ve got a hundred bucks that says Bo wins. Palin can bark all she wants, but she has to promise not to bite Bo.”

Shifferbrains.com suggested to  Palin that she offer to debate someone she has a better chance of keeping up with, say Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, or Donald Trump, since they all have about the same understanding of the issues that are most important to them: Obama’s fake birth certificate and Obama being a, 1) Secret Muslim, 2) Secret Communist, 3) Secret Socialist, 4) Secret Atheist, 5) Secret Fascist, 6) Secret Honky, who secretly hates America and all that it stands for, secretly or not.

Rick Santorum delivered a final insult to Palin, relating that he wants to debate her, but fears to, saying, “Sarah Palin is possessed by Satan exactly like all the “smart people” in academia.”


Comments

  1. Bart,

    Consider our date for Satuday night cancelled.

    -Sarah

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