UNDISCLOSED TACO BELL LOCATION IN MICHIGAN
Mitt Romney said that if he is elected President, he and fellow hardline Republicans will push for formalizing “Taco Tuesday” as a national holiday, all in an effort to appease Latinos for previous hostile immigration statements he made and to steal thunder away from President Obama immigration directive last Friday.
“You know, when I first came to California I thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company. That just goes to show how much I’ve learned about you Mexicans, especially since running for President. I want you to know how far I’ve come to really like Mexicans and Latinos, especially illegal gardeners. Even growing up in Michigan, I always respected Mexicans from afar….the farther the better. So, in honor of all you Mexicans, I will push for a Taco Tuesday National Holiday to be celebrated the fifth Tuesday of every February.”
It is calculated President Obama’s popular policy directive last Friday will make about 800,000 young people who were brought to the United States illegally as children safe from deportation proceedings, and may make them eligible for work permits.
Congressional Republicans held a press conference to protest Obama’s directive. John Boehner (really pronounced “bone-er”), Speaker of the House, was angered over Obama’s decision to act on immigration reform after senate Republicans had filibustered three previous attempts to pass the Dream Act (acronym for Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors) since President Obama took office. Boehner said,
“President Obama’s immigration directive is an assault on Republican rights to obstruct Congress and not do anything if it has an iota of a chance of making the President look good, even if his idea is good for America. We staunchly affirm our right to do everything we can to obstruct every good idea and royally screw this country over in order to deny Obama a second term.”
Mitt Romney further commented,
“My plan for immigration reform is to make finding work so difficult for illegal immigrants that they will self-deport to go back to where they came from. This is not my favorite technique, firing people, but it’s close. It’s easier and a lot more fun to fire illegal Latinos and Mexicans than Americans, too, because they can’t go to the law. It’s too bad the President interfered in the legislative process about immigration reform which, with Republican foresight and my help, would have reached a workable solution in about another 75 to 100 years.”