Romney’s Rubber Spine

Romney - the man who would have let Osama bin Laden live. Photo: Salon

Republicans cry foul at the new Democratic campaign ad released on the one year anniversary of the death of Osama bin Laden. The ad subtly suggests in a nice way that Mitt Romney is too weak and spineless to be President.

Responding to the Republican attack, Democrats said,

“At least the TV spot we ran didn’t come right out and call him (Romney, not bin Laden) a flip-floppy, wishy-washy putz.”

Romney campaign strategist, Spin Billings, said the ad was unfair because it reminds voters that Romney said he would never send troops into Pakistan for a “high value target,” while lauding President Obama for having the cajones (pronounced ka-hone-ees) to send Navy Seals into Pakistan to kill Osama bin Laden one year ago.

The irony is not lost on Republican campaign strategists that Mitt Romney is now a high value target in America directly in President Obama’s sights on this very same issue.

John Boehner (really pronounced “boner,” not bay-nor), Republican Speaker of House, responded to the attack ad on Romney by saying, “I have a good relationship with President Obama and don’t want to say anything against him, BUT that low-down, dirty dog has tarnished the Presidency by saying Mitt Romney is too weak to make tough decisions and lacks the courage to do the right thing. Sure, we all know Mitt has a highly flexible, rubber spine, but like his wife, it’s something people shouldn’t talk about in an election year. Shame on President Obama for taking credit for getting the guy who killed 3,000 Americans on 9/11.”

Mitch McConnel denies evolution and that he evolved from a Galapagos turtle

Mitch McConnel (really pronounced “Ma-koon-eel,” not “McConl”), Republican leader in the Senate, also entered the political fray about the Democratic attack ad.

Between bites of lettuce and Galapagos cactus flowers, McConnel said, “I’m an objective and fair person, but this ad is an unwarranted attack on Mitt Romney’s lack of resolve and questionable flip-floppy character by a President who has not done one good thing for America since he was born in Kenya. We know Mitt Romney is afraid to make tough decisions for fear of being wrong, but it’s a subject  that is, like the family dog Romney abuses, off limits in an election year.” McConnel added passionately (yes, I’m not kidding, passionately),

“I have stated before, and I say it again, the number one priority for far-thinking Republicans is to make Obama a one term president. To that end we will continue to obstruct Congress and block every piece of legislation Democrats propose, no matter how good it may be for the middle class and for the country as a whole in turning around the economy. It’s important for Republicans to keep our priorities straight.”

President Obama, in a gesture of peace and goodwill to quell the rancor, thanked Mitt Romney for the 23rd time for designing Obama Care.

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