Sara Palin’s Secret Plan to Run for President

WASHINGTON (The Nedelman Report) It is reported that there is a plan to secretly train Sara Palin to speak in complete sentences in preparation for a 2016 presidential run. The Center for Republican Apologist Propaganda (CRAP), the fantasy wing of American Crossroads, the Republican Super PAC headed by Karl Rove, has finally completed their in […]

Republican Terrible Two’s

WASHINGTON  (Nedelman Report) — Eighty house Republicans simultaneously suffered a bout of the “terrible two’s” and requested John Boehner shut down the government instead of having Obamacare implementation proceed as voted upon and approved by Congress. The “terrible two’s” is a mental condition many two-year olds suffer, characterized by fits of intractable anger, rage, inconsolable […]

The Stinkin’ GOP Treasure of Sierra Tawdry

BOSTON (Nedelman Report) –Chairman of the Republican National Convention, Reince Priebus, declared that the RNC decided to severely punish NBC News and CNN for daring to make and release movie biographies in 2015 about Hillary Clinton, a potential 2016 Democratic Presidential challenger. It makes no difference to the RNC that NBC Entertainment, not NBC News […]

Bachmann Not Running – Collective IQ of Congress Projected to Rise

WASHINGTON (Nedelman Report) Demonstrating her consistent inconsistency, after running TV ads this month for her re-election to Congress in 2014, Tea Party darling, Michele Bachmann, announced that she is not running for re-election. Actuarial social scientists at the ultra-right-wing Heritage Foundation ruefully admitted that they calculate the collective IQ of Congress will rise by 3.43 […]

Republicans: “We Own Your Genitals”

After being rejected decisively and losing the 2012 elections, Republicans completed their soul-searching and issued a terse, one-line comprehensive policy statement: “We still own your genitals.” John Boehner (grammatically pronounced “boner,” not “bay-nor”) has declared that Republicans will no longer openly talk about the sexual and gender issues, gay rights and marriage, and women’s right […]

Boehner Tearfully Admits his Name is Really Pronounced “Boner”

In an effort to draw attention away from Obama’s televised attack ads on Mitt Romney’s record of job destruction at Bain Capital, Speaker of the House, John Boehner (until recently pronounced Bay-nor), came out of the “German grammar closet” and tearfully admitted his name is really pronounced “Boner.” Nancy Pelosi applauded John Boehner, saying: “The […]

%d bloggers like this: