SORRY, EU, WE FOULED OUR NEST WITH TRUMP

Sorry, EU, We Fouled Our Nest with Trump NEWPORT BEACH — (The Nedelman Report) As an American, I wish to send a note of apology to our European friends for fouling our nest with Donald Trump. Gorillas are known to defecate in their nests, too, and America, if nothing else, is a 500-pound gorilla on […]

Trump Extends Credit to Mexico for Great Wall

WASHINGTON — (The Nedelman Report) During the campaign, President-elect Donald Trump promised “We will build a great wall along the southern border. And Mexico will pay for the wall. One hundred percent.” Former Mexican President, Vincente Fox, responded politely to Trump’s proposal with, “We’re not paying for that fucking wall.” Today, as reported by POLITICO, […]

Trump: President and Sexual Predator Commander in Chief

We have an admission and “braggadocio” from Trump on tape, in 2005, wherein he claims that his star status allows him to grope women’s genitalia without their consent, or even their knowledge he’s going to do it. What a manly, impulsive fellow we have running for President. Judging from Trump’s support, these qualities appeal to […]

RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN CLOWN SHOES

Watching Trump campaign for the presidency is much like watching a man running an Olympic marathon wearing clown shoes. Granted, the hefty, course-mouthed self-promoter was surprisingly fast out of the starting blocks, but Trump now trips over his feet with every clownish misstep—two of his most recent being: denigrating the Muslim Kahn family who lost […]

TRUMP FINDS CONVENTION SPEAKERS!

Contrary to Las Vegas odds-maker’s prognostications, Donald Trump has managed to find people other than the newly-minted zombie, Chris Christie, to speak at the Republican Convention in Cleveland this month. While many Repub congressmen and governors say that they are too busy to attend or need, instead, to run for reelection, some have actually come […]

Trump’s VP Choices – Damaged Goods, But Serviceable?

At the beginning of the GOP primary season, no one seriously believed that a blow-hard billionaire who looks like he grows genetically modified corn silk on his head would be picking a Vice-Presidential nominee. Only my schizophrenic astrologer told me this was going to happen, so eat your heart out, David Brooks and Charles Krauthammer […]

SUPER TUESDAY DESTROYS AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

Super Tuesday was certainly super for Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, living proof of American Exceptionalism having a bad day. Is America exceptional or what! But America did not treat exceptionally well two first-generation Americans of Cuban extraction, Rafael Cruz and Marco Rubio, or the back-woodsy social democrat, Bernie Sanders. Evangelicals (gels) and black voters […]

Sara Palin’s Secret Plan to Run for President

WASHINGTON (The Nedelman Report) It is reported that there is a plan to secretly train Sara Palin to speak in complete sentences in preparation for a 2016 presidential run. The Center for Republican Apologist Propaganda (CRAP), the fantasy wing of American Crossroads, the Republican Super PAC headed by Karl Rove, has finally completed their in […]

Christianity Is New Law of Texas

In a drastic cost-cutting move, Texas Attorney General, Ken Paxton, declared that Texas doesn’t need any law other than what good Christians think. His first act under OCL (Old Christian Law) was to ban gay marriage in Texas after a federal judge struck down a Texas gay marriage ban in February of 2014, subject to […]

Kansas Gov. Reinstates Gay-Bashing

Kansas Republican Governor, Sam Brownback, wins the coveted Nedelman Report SHIFFERBRAINS  AWARD  (say “shifferbrains” quickly three times). The governor issued a warning to the LGBT community ( lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgendered) that they should not expect to be treated in their Kansas state jobs with the same respect,  rights, or fairness of straight state job […]

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