SORRY, EU, WE FOULED OUR NEST WITH TRUMP

Sorry, EU, We Fouled Our Nest with Trump NEWPORT BEACH — (The Nedelman Report) As an American, I wish to send a note of apology to our European friends for fouling our nest with Donald Trump. Gorillas are known to defecate in their nests, too, and America, if nothing else, is a 500-pound gorilla on […]

Trump Extends Credit to Mexico for Great Wall

WASHINGTON — (The Nedelman Report) During the campaign, President-elect Donald Trump promised “We will build a great wall along the southern border. And Mexico will pay for the wall. One hundred percent.” Former Mexican President, Vincente Fox, responded politely to Trump’s proposal with, “We’re not paying for that fucking wall.” Today, as reported by POLITICO, […]

Trump: President and Sexual Predator Commander in Chief

We have an admission and “braggadocio” from Trump on tape, in 2005, wherein he claims that his star status allows him to grope women’s genitalia without their consent, or even their knowledge he’s going to do it. What a manly, impulsive fellow we have running for President. Judging from Trump’s support, these qualities appeal to […]

RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN CLOWN SHOES

Watching Trump campaign for the presidency is much like watching a man running an Olympic marathon wearing clown shoes. Granted, the hefty, course-mouthed self-promoter was surprisingly fast out of the starting blocks, but Trump now trips over his feet with every clownish misstep—two of his most recent being: denigrating the Muslim Kahn family who lost […]

TRUMP FINDS CONVENTION SPEAKERS!

Contrary to Las Vegas odds-maker’s prognostications, Donald Trump has managed to find people other than the newly-minted zombie, Chris Christie, to speak at the Republican Convention in Cleveland this month. While many Repub congressmen and governors say that they are too busy to attend or need, instead, to run for reelection, some have actually come […]

Trump’s VP Choices – Damaged Goods, But Serviceable?

At the beginning of the GOP primary season, no one seriously believed that a blow-hard billionaire who looks like he grows genetically modified corn silk on his head would be picking a Vice-Presidential nominee. Only my schizophrenic astrologer told me this was going to happen, so eat your heart out, David Brooks and Charles Krauthammer […]

SUPER TUESDAY DESTROYS AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

Super Tuesday was certainly super for Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, living proof of American Exceptionalism having a bad day. Is America exceptional or what! But America did not treat exceptionally well two first-generation Americans of Cuban extraction, Rafael Cruz and Marco Rubio, or the back-woodsy social democrat, Bernie Sanders. Evangelicals (gels) and black voters […]

THE HISPANIC TITANIC, MARCO RUBIO, IS DESTINED TO SINK

The Hispanic Titanic, Marco Rubio, sailed out of Iowa not far behind Ted Cruz and Donald Trump for a long itinerary of primary stop-overs between now and the Republican convention. Most of the icebergs in the way of Rubio, like Ben Carson and Jeb Bush, are, as Donald Trump might say, chump-change icebergs, like Rick […]

RUBIO SO CROOKED HE HAS TO SCREW HIS SHOES ON

NEWPORT BEACH (The Nedelman Report) — Marco Rubio has won The Nedelman Report’s annual “Screw-Shoes Award” for the most financially irresponsible politician seeking high public office in 2016. The editorial board issued the following statement explaining why Marco Rubio deserves the annual Screw-Shoe Award: “Marco Rubio won the 2016 Screw-Shoe Award because, like previous winners, […]

Tea Party Wary About Bobby Jindal’s Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON (The Nedelman Report) Bobby Jindal’s parents are immigrants from India. Jindal states that he was conceived in India and born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in 1971. Tea Party activists and birthers are questioning the legitimacy of his birth certificate – as they are wont to do with any potential candidate for President possessing a […]

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