Kansas Gov. Reinstates Gay-Bashing

Kansas Republican Governor, Sam Brownback, wins the coveted Nedelman Report SHIFFERBRAINS  AWARD  (say “shifferbrains” quickly three times). The governor issued a warning to the LGBT community ( lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgendered) that they should not expect to be treated in their Kansas state jobs with the same respect,  rights, or fairness of straight state job […]

Romney Dines with 47% at White House

WASHINGTON  (The Nedelman Report)   In an unprecedented display of goodwill, Mitt Romney had lunch with one of the 47% of Americans he said were the takers, moochers, and parasites in our society. Upon arriving at the White House, Mitt Romney requested that President Obama confirm in writing that he would not be charged for his […]

3,442,567 Reasons Romney Lost the Election

WASHINGTON DC  (The Nedelman Report) The Center for Republican Apologist Propaganda has completed its in depth their analysis of why Mitt Romney so decisively lost the election. It found 3,442,567 reasons, the number of votes President Obama beat Mitt Romney by in the general election. The main spokesperson for CRAP, Charley Kraphammer, issued the following […]

Romney Loses, Moves Money Offshore

BOSTON (The Nedelman Report) — Mitt Romney, decisively losing the presidency, gave his moral a boost by moving the rest of his money and holdings offshore into secret, non-taxable bank accounts in Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, and Lichtenstein. Romney offered the following reasons for moving his U.S. holdings to secret foreign depositories: “Some people […]

Romney Vows to Hold Breath If He Loses

TOLEDO, Ohio (The Nedelman Report) – At a campaign stop in Toledo, Ohio this morning, Mitt Romney responded to jeers from the crowd by threatening to hold his breath if they did not vote for him. Romney threw out his oft repeated and confirmed lie that Jeep was moving its auto production out of Ohio […]

Amazing Red State Polling Analysis

WASHINGTON  (The Nedelman Report)  — Karl Rove’s well-known Washington political action committee, American Crossroads (AC), completed an analysis of all of the recent polling data in a joint venture with Truthful Evangelical Americans (TEA), a little known contrarian evangelical Christian splinter group known for their adherence to objective reality. Although desperately searching for a path […]

Romney: Hurricane Sandy is a Failure of Obama Leadership

ATLANTIC CITY (Nedelman Report) — In a campaign stop in Atlantic City, New Jersey, Mitt Romney criticized President Obama for his failure of leadership for allowing hurricane Sandy to reach North America. While lashing out at President Obama, Romney also lashed himself to a telephone pole in the 145 mile an hour winds and delivered […]

Republican Mourdock: ‘Rape is Something God Intended’

Richard Mourdock wins coveted Nedelman Report Shifferbrains Award Richard Mourdock, Indiana Republican candidate and Tea Party favorite for Senate, wins the coveted Nedelman Report Shifferbrains Award for his statement made yesterday: “…I came to realize that life is that gift from God and I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape […]

Romney’s Two Job Creation Successes

Mitt Romney hammers voters with his story that while CEO’ing Bain Capital, he helped create thousands of jobs by providing financing and venture capital. The sad truth is, if you asked Mitt Romney for a tissue, he would later proclaim that not only did he help you blow your nose, but also that he put […]

Romney Has Sex-Change Operation

In an effort to reverse disastrous poll numbers among women voters, Mitt Romney had a sex-change operation on Saturday, thereby making her the first woman presidential candidate. “Since becoming a woman,” Romney says, “I have become a softer, gentler candidate.” She also legally changed her name from Mitt to “Mittens.” Mittens emerged from the Beverly […]

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